White Knuckles Read online

  I think Murphy senses my irritation with his best friend, because he’s been trying to defuse things for a while—like every time Teller opens his mouth.

  By the slow turn of his head and the what the fuck face he sends Murphy’s way, I don’t think Teller knew Murphy planned to put him to work for the next few days. “I can barely walk. How the fuck you think I’m gonna train anyone at the gym, dickhead?”

  “I could use help at the counter,” Murphy answers calmly. Thank fuck for Murphy. He’s the only one with enough patience to put up with Teller some days.

  “You want me to play receptionist?”

  Alexa lets out a screech, waving her little fists in the air to let Teller know she doesn’t care for his angry tone.

  By now everyone’s silent. Teller flicks his gaze around the table before glancing down at Alexa, then up at me. “You sure you want me there?”

  What a stupid question. Teller’s worked in my gym before. Fuck, I had him on my payroll when he fought for custody of Heidi and needed to show the court that he had legit income. “Sure,” I answer slowly. “If Murphy says we need the extra help, we need it. You know your way around the place.”

  “Guess I’m the only one without a job,” Heidi jokes. I think she’s worried I’m about to murder her brother.

  Trinity surprises me by piping up. “Actually, Heidi, I wanted to talk to you about doing some work for me, if you’re interested. The pay isn’t great, but”—she nods at Alexa—“the location is family friendly.”

  Heidi perks up. “Sure. Doing what?”

  “I need someone to sort all my photos, catalog them, and put them into galleries online. I’ll show you how to do everything. I just don’t have the time to do it myself.”

  “Wait a second,” Murphy interrupts. “I don’t think I want my fiancée looking at your man-porn all day long, Trin,” he jokes.

  It seems to finally dawn on Heidi what she’s being asked to do. “Oh, hell yes. That sounds like fun.”

  Trinity grins. “We’ll talk more after breakfast,” she says, glancing around the table. I give everyone a hard stare, daring them to make one smart-ass comment about Trin’s photography.

  No one opens their mouth. Although judging from the smirk on Z’s face, he’s considering it.

  “Did you miss what I said?” Murphy asks Heidi. He’s grinning like a fool, so I doubt he cares one way or another.

  “Don’t be jealous. It’s just a job.”

  That right there is karma biting Murphy’s ass, because I’m sure he uses that exact same excuse when he has to pull a shift at our strip club.

  “I need both of you to come by and help me figure out what to do with all those trees,” Rock reminds us.

  “I’ll help, too,” Z volunteers. Sparky mumbles something about his plants and takes off. As if we were going to ask him to help with the manual labor.

  I slide my hand up Trinity’s leg, squeezing her thigh until she turns. “When I’m done with that, will you come to the gym with me?” I ask.

  “I have my doctor’s appointment. After that, I’ll stop by.”

  “No. I’ll take you.”

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “I want to,” I say in a tone that leaves no room for discussion.

  We’ve probably reached some weird, co-dependent territory in our relationship, but I can’t find a fuck to give. I like being with my woman. Love having her with me at work.

  There’s no place I don’t like having Trinity next to me.

  After breakfast, most of the guys leave. Wyatt pulls me onto his lap and settles his chin on my shoulder.

  “Can you really go to the gym after chopping all that firewood?”

  An insulted snort erupts from him, jostling me around. “Please, it’s barely a workout. Besides, I don’t think we’re cutting anything today.” He pulls me a little closer and runs his cheek against mine until I laugh.

  “Your scruff tickles.”

  “Oh.” He runs his hand over his cheek and chin. “You sure you don’t want me to shave it off for the wedding?”

  Placing my palms against his cheeks, I turn his head to face me. “No way. You’re my very own lumberjack.”

  Heidi bounces back into the dining room, stopping in front of us. “I’m ready to start my new job.”

  Wyatt chuckles and nudges me off of his lap. “Where’s your man?”

  She turns and points toward the hallway. “Waiting for you with Uncle Rock.”

  After he leaves, Heidi fidgets for a few seconds, then takes the chair next to me. “Are you sure you want me to do this?” she asks.

  “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t. Come on, I’ll show you what I need.” Our house isn’t quite finished to Wyatt’s specifications, so most of our stuff is still at the clubhouse. Heidi follows me down the hallway and into my room.

  She listens intently and asks careful questions while I explain what I need her to do.

  “I think I can handle it.” She sits and studies the website where I want her to upload the photos a little longer. While she’s checking things out, I name the hourly rate I plan to pay her and she hesitates.

  “You really don’t have to pay me, Trinity. I’ll do it for nothing—”

  “No, it’s a lot of work.”

  “Thank you.” She pauses and glances at the door. “This would be my first real job, so I appreciate it. My brother’s always been so good to me, but he never wanted me to work when I was going to school. Rock and Hope have basically been supporting me since I…since I came home. It’s time to pull my own weight, you know?”

  I highly doubt anyone’s worried about it, but I respect her need to make her own money. Plus, even if Heidi and I haven’t always gotten along in the past, she’s smart and meticulous. “You did your internship. That was a much harder job.”

  “Yeah, but that was an internship. They had to hire me because of school.”

  “With all the wedding stuff, I’ve been letting these pile up, so I need the help.”

  She glances at the equipment and straightens up. “I’ll get it all sorted for you.”

  “You don’t have to start right away. Work on it in your free time.”

  She cocks her head. “Are you excited about the wedding?”

  “Yes. There’s still some last minute stuff up at the park I need to take care of, but I’m so happy we’re almost there.”

  “Me too.”

  “What about you? You excited to plan—”

  “Yes and no. I feel…weird.” She glances at the open door and in a lower voice asks, “It’s a little soon. Do you think I’m horrible?”

  A year or two ago I would have said, “Yes, you’re a spoiled brat.” But Heidi’s been through hell and grown up a lot in the last year. Her decision to have Alexa at her young age has made me think…about a lot of things.

  “No. Not at all. You’ve had a rough time.” I don’t know a lot about what her marriage to Axel was like, but from things Teller and Murphy have said, I’ve gathered it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbow-farting unicorns. “You deserve to be happy.”

  My answer doesn’t seem to satisfy her, but we’re interrupted by Murphy knocking on my door. “Hey, we’re heading out to the building site. Alexa’s with your brother,” he says to Heidi.

  I pack up my laptop, SD cards and a notebook with a bunch of written instructions for Heidi, and she takes it almost reverently. “I’ll be careful with everything, Trinity.”

  After a quick kiss from Murphy, she darts out the door.

  Murphy hangs back. “Thank you for doing that.”

  “Hey, it’s time for me to hire an assistant.” My tone is light, hoping he’ll ease up on the seriousness.

  He nods and stuffs his hands in his pockets. “It’s still…nice of you.”

  “You sure you don’t mind her looking at hot, half-naked guys all day?” I tease.

  Finally, he cracks a smile and waves his hand in the air. “Please. I got nothing to worry abo
ut.” He runs his hand over the front of his body in an overly-cocky way. “None of your photos can compete with this.”

  I snort. “Actually, I could use a beefy, bearded ginger in my catalog if you’re interested.”

  Is Murphy blushing? I think he is and barely contain my laughter.

  “I don’t know about that.”

  When he still doesn’t leave, I take a few steps closer. “Congratulations.”

  He shrugs. “Think it’s too soon?”

  Somehow I manage not to snort. The two of them are an awful lot alike. In the back of my head, a voice says it’s weird either of them give a damn about my opinion. Hope’s the one who dispenses advice around here, not me. “For you two? No.”

  “We probably won’t tie the knot for a while, but—”

  “You wanted to nail her down?”

  He finally cracks a small smile. “Something like that.”

  “You’ve been really good to her…and Alexa.” Something about the way Murphy stepped up to take care of Heidi’s daughter after Axel died always chokes me up. Maybe it’s because before I found the Lost Kings, I never knew that kind of love. Or maybe I’m just an emotional mess because I’m getting married in a week and a half?

  “I can’t help it.”

  “Well, a lot of guys wouldn’t want to be bothered. She’s a lucky girl. They both are.”

  “Thanks.” He glances over his shoulder. “I better get out there before your almost-husband kicks my ass.”

  “This is a fuck-ton of wood to split,” I say, staring at the mountain of logs in front of us.

  Murphy runs his hand over his chest. “Z needs to get a log-splitter. One of us should look into a wood furnace.”

  Rock eyes the logs, a slow smirk forming at the corners of his mouth. “I’ll do some of it the old-fashioned way.” He takes a swing with an imaginary ax.

  This one’s too good to resist. “Why? Hope got a lumberjack fetish?”

  He grins at the obnoxious question. “Maybe. It’ll be a good workout either way.”

  “If you say so. I don’t need props to get my woman excited. I just need to look at her.”

  Rock snorts at the same time Murphy opens his mouth. “I—”

  “No. Uh-uh. You don’t get to share stories of whatever dirty stuff you do to Heidi. She’s still the club’s kid sister as far as we’re concerned,” I say pointing to Rock and myself.

  “That’s not what I was going to say.” He shifts his gaze to Rock. “And please, warn us whenever this lumberjack thing goes down. Heidi’s already halfway to sleeping with earplugs as it is.”

  “Us too,” Rock says, shaking with laughter.

  “Uh—”

  Murphy cuts me off. “Alexa’s teething.”

  I’m not a total asshole. “She okay?”

  “Yeah, just cranky and screaming a lot.”

  “What a mood-killer.”

  A sheepish smile twists his mouth, and he ducks his head. “I don’t know. I kinda want another one.”

  “Are you out of your mind? Why?” Taking one of these logs and whacking it over my head would make more sense than those two spitting out another kid.

  His shoulders lift. “I want Alexa to have some brothers and sisters.”

  “Some? She’s not a fucking cat, bro.”

  “Fuck you.”

  “Hey,” I slap Rock’s arm. “Sounds like Murphy plans to repopulate the club with the next generation of Lost Kings all by himself.”

  Rock snorts. “Someone should.”

  “Stop being a dick,” Murphy snaps. “I don’t want her to be lonely. That’s all.”

  The smile slides off Rock’s face, and he nods at Murphy. “Yeah, I get it.”

  I get it, too, but still enjoy hassling my brothers. “Aw, prez. You gettin’ choked up because the good son’s turned into such a responsible husband and father?”

  Rock punches my arm. “Yeah, ’cause he sure had some shitty role models.”

  “True story.”

  Rustling leaves and snapping twigs turn our attention toward the woods where Z emerges from the trees with his two dogs. “We pickin’ on Murphy?” he asks. “I’m down for that.”

  “No, they were having a father-son moment,” I answer, leaning over to rub Ziggy and Zipper behind their ears. “Good son was sharing his plans for putting more buns in Heidi’s oven.”

  Z lights up with a devious smile. “If he’s ‘good son’ who’s the bad one?” he asks, totally skipping any discussion of Heidi’s oven.

  “Who do you think?”

  Murphy shifts, leaves crinkling under his feet. “Go easy on Teller. He still ain’t right—”

  “No shit,” Z says. “I keep waitin’ for him to realize you’re nailing his sister and go Rambo on your ass.”

  Z and I have a good laugh.

  Apparently Rock’s had enough of our nonsense. “Can we get back to the wood? Maybe continue the family counseling or whatever the fuck we’re doing later?”

  “Sounded more like family planning,” Z cracks.

  “Jesus Christ,” Rock mutters.

  We really don’t get much more accomplished than trading insults and planning how to split the wood. So, time well spent with my brothers.

  On the way back to the clubhouse, Rock, Z, and the dogs walk ahead, while Murphy sticks to my side. “Are you really okay having Teller down at the gym?” he asks.

  “Yeah, why you being so weird about it?”

  He stops, which forces me to stop.

  “You two coming?” Rock asks.

  “In a minute,” Murphy calls out. He waits until they’re out of sight before answering my question. “I’m worried about him. He needs to get out of the clubhouse. The only person he ever wants to see is Alexa.”

  “Makes sense. She doesn’t talk back and she needs him to do everything for her.”

  Murphy cocks his head but seems to consider my words. “I guess.”

  “As long as he keeps that attitude locked down and doesn’t scare any of my customers away, he’s more than welcome to work there.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re gonna be a partner. Some of these decisions are yours now, too.”

  That finally lightens him up. “You’re still the boss.”

  “Don’t forget it.”

  He laughs.

  “Should I be jealous?” Trinity calls out as she skips down the front steps of the clubhouse to meet us.

  “Nope, just reminding him he’s the boss,” Murphy says.

  I stop and Trinity leans up, wrapping her arms around my neck so I can lift her up. “You’re the boss of me, too,” she whispers against my ear.

  “You fucking know it,” I growl, squeezing her ass.

  “Where are my girls?” Murphy asks.

  I set Trinity down, and she points at the house without looking away from me. “Living room. With Hope.”

  “Later.”

  “Ready to go?” I ask after he leaves.

  She answers me with a kiss that turns into more of my grabby hands on her ass.

  “What time’s your appointment?” I mumble against her lips.

  “Too soon for what you’re thinking.”

  CHAPTER THREE

  I’m a little giddy as I walk out of my therapist’s office. For a long time, the things we discussed would cling to me like sludge for days afterward. Sometimes it caused nightmares. Other times it made me tense and listless until Wyatt, demanding as he is, pulled me out of it.

  Today he’s waiting for me outside. Casually leaning against his bike. A few women in the parking lot keep sneaking sly glances at him, so I hurry over. To stake my claim? Damn right.

  Sneaking up on him isn’t possible. He lifts his head, a big smile forming on his lips. For me. He doesn’t seem to notice anyone else is even in the area.

  I can’t believe he’s going to be my husband.

  “Everything okay?” he asks before handing over my helmet.

  A little of my giddiness
returns. “Great. She says I’m done for now.”

  Wyatt raises an eyebrow.

  “I mean…I can call her if I need to, but she thinks I’m in a good place.”

  Now, in all the time I’ve been coming here, Wyatt hasn’t asked me a lot of questions about it. He holds me when I can’t sleep. Listens if I want to talk about something that comes up in therapy. But otherwise, I’m not sure if he thinks it makes me weak or if he’s bothered by the twice-a-month visits.

  “I’m proud of you, baby,” he says, sweeping me up in a hug.

  “Really?”

  “Fuck, yeah.”

  “I couldn’t have done it without you.” I gesture lamely at the building behind us, suddenly unsure of what the hell I mean.

  He sets me down gently. “Yes, you could, Trinity.” His voice takes on a low, no-bullshit tone. “You’re a fighter, like me. We just happen to be better together.”

  “I think so, too,” I whisper.

  “Good.” He presses a kiss to my forehead and gives me another one of his serious looks. “You ready to be my wife now?”

  Maybe Wyatt’s more perceptive than I give him credit for. No, he’s not a let’s-get-in-touch-with-our-inner-wounded-child type of guy. But he seems to understand me. Sometimes better than I understand myself. While I hadn’t caused any of the delays with our wedding, I hadn’t been upset about them, either.

  I feel good. Solid. Whole. Connected.

  “Yes. I can’t wait to be Mrs. Ramsey.”

  “I like the sound of that. In fact, maybe we should have it tattooed across your ass.”

  I roll my eyes. “No more ink for me.”

  His hand brushes against my side, where my “Wrath’s Girl” tattoo decorates my hip. “Let’s go deal with stuff at the gym. Then tomorrow we’ll go to the mountains.” He leans down and whispers in my ear. “After that, your ass is mine.”